Instead of this exceptional woman choosing resentment and bitterness, her interactions with Gender-Based Violence (GBV) have moulded her into co-authoring a bill in the Kenyan Parliament.
Dianah Kamande has become a motivational speaker and a mentored mentor, who believes that the best-empowered woman has been mentored by another woman.
She calls herself an activist for widows and gender-based violence victims, with a passion that was ignited after a Gender-Based Violence ordeal in 2013 that left her a widow.
The nasty experience she underwent opened her eyes to the vulnerability of women and the double vulnerability of widows.
“Based on my interaction with widows and survivors of Gender-Based Violence, I strongly share the sentiments of the Former UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon, that No woman should lose her status, livelihood or property when her husband dies,” she said.
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Kamande’s harrowing experience turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as it was highlighted in the media, paving the way for her to better understand GBV and widowhood.
“As a victim of gender-based violence, I learnt that reading all the red flags is important and that it could save lives,” she intimated.
As a widow, she suffered disinheritance despite her university level of education and labelled a husband killer, husband snatcher among other unprintable accusations.
Dianah Kamande. PHOTO/COURTESY
But this served as a chance for her to hear the ordeals of other widows who had endured so many tribulations, including widow cleansing, wife inheritance and other harmful traditional practices which had been in existence before.
At the time, she had imagined that these were nothing but fictional stories.
“I remain grateful to the media for highlighting my story. The more my story got publicised, the more I met widows who had faced violence in the hands of family members and the society.”
It infuriated Diana that women could go through all this violence in silence with no one to fight for them and vowed to break the culture of shame and silence and speak for them.
“I believe that sometimes silence stops being golden and becomes a sin and that women need to protect each other in the face of patriarchy. At this point, I founded a Community Based Organisation called ‘Come Together Widows and Orphans Organisation’, providing widows with a platform to articulate their issues, experiences and get support from others.
Through one of the local dailies, the Principal Secretary (PS) for Correctional Services, Zeinab Hussein, learnt about Diana’s story in 2014 and together they started working to address the plight of widows in Kenya.
“The PS visited our organisation in one of the meetings in Baba Dogo Ward, Nairobi County. When Gender Affairs was elevated into a complete state department, and Zeinab Hussein became the first PS for the state department for Gender Affairs (SDGA), she introduced me to all Affirmative Action Funds Chief Executive Officers and Directors of different directorates at SDGA. This marked the beginning of a beautiful partnership with the Government.”
Dianah Kamande. PHOTO/COURTESY
Her organisation has now grown into a Non-Governmental Organisation (NGO), running programs for widows, survivors of gender violence and orphans.
“We advocate for their rights, inspire their lives and empower them both socially and economically. We put in place strategies to ensure that their rights are guaranteed and respected through activities such as sensitisation on affirmative action funds, civic education on existing laws that contain their rights, and skills training.
“My organisation is on a mission to make sure that “there will be a society where social justice, human rights, happiness and prosperity are guaranteed for every widow, survivor of gender-based violence and orphan in Kenya.”
While Kamande was still recovering from the physically and emotionally effects of her GBV ordeal, she started drafting a Widows’ Bill to protect widows from harmful traditional practices and to expressly provide for their rights.
She felt the Kenyan community contributed immensely to widows vulnerabilities and there was an urgent need for widows to be protected by law from such harmful practices.
The Widows Bill also sought to protect children of widows so that their children don’t have to grow in hostile environments where they have to watch their mothers’ dignity is stripped.
Since 2016, we have strengthened the Bill together with the Government’s help, and hopefully, widows can look at a bright and peaceful future once this Bill becomes law.
Dianah Kamande. PHOTO/COURTESY
“The legislative process is a journey of the collaboration of many people, whom I would like to appreciate for helping me dignify widows.”
She has received numerous awards locally and internationally recognising her efforts, including a Head of State Commendation, a sign that she’s headed in the right direction.
Kamande takes pride in advocating for widows, survivors of gender-based violence and rights of orphans and inspiring them while at the same time empowering them.
A lot of activities that her organisation takes part in bring her satisfaction, including responding to Covid-19 pandemic through donating food packages to widows, creating awareness on the existence of widows and their plight, lobbying for the collection of widows’ data in the 2019 Census, drafting the protection of widowed persons Bill, skill training for widows, and reuniting them with their financial assets submitted under the Unclaimed Financial Assets Authority (UFAA).
However, she admits that the journey has been nothing but easy, but in the end, it has gotten her achievements recognised globally and she continues to turn scars into stars.
On December 12, 2018, Kamande was awarded the Head of State Commendation (HSC) for her efforts towards addressing the plight of widows.
She also received the Unwavering Advocacy Award from Heather Ibrahim Leathers, the founder and President of Global Fund for Widows because of her relentless service in and out of Kenya, and the Above and Beyond Award, awarded by the United Widows in South Carolina in honour of exemplary leadership at her Come Together Widows and Orphans Organisation (CTWOO) and the Association of Gender-Based Violence.
On March 5, 2021, she became an honoree for the Zuri Awards Humanitarian category, an award celebrating outstanding women changing the lives of communities in Kenya through their work and hosted during International Women’s Day (IWD) in Nairobi.
Dianah Kamande. PHOTO/COURTESY
Furthermore, CTWOO also received the Lifetime Achievement Award from Women in Business, because of its commitment to serving widows and orphans in and out of season.
“These awards have been a source of motivation for me and the women I lead to continue fighting for the rights of widows and women in general, that they may enjoy peace while carrying on with their life.”
So, what values drive her?
1. Empathy. This has helped me understand what other people feel, see things from their perspective and imagine myself in their shoes.
While working with people from different backgrounds, empathy has helped me remain calm in circumstances that would have caused me to lose my temper and would, in turn, cost me.
2. Integrity: It has enabled me to live peacefully and enjoy working with people. Being honest and consistent in uncompromising adherence to strong moral and ethical principles and values is important. Integrity helps one activate reliability at all times.
She describes herself as a woman who is ready to stand in the gender equality gap and elevate other women.
“Many words have been used to describe me, but so far, my best has been that I am a good mother.”
Dianah Kamande. PHOTO/COURTESY
Dianah Kamande had last words of advice to young girls, women and widows about going through life and relationships.
“Learn from what you see in other people’s relationships and be careful to watch out for the red flags. Do not wait until you experience things by yourself.”
And what’s her vsion for a new world for women and girls?
“I wish for a society in which social justice, human rights, happiness and prosperity are guaranteed for every widow, survivors of Gender-Based Violence and orphans in Kenya.”
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