Dr Joan Okemo

In many parts of the world, the intense pressure to have a child of a specific gender can create emotional and social turmoil, often placing unfair blame on women.

This persistent desire for a son or a daughter leads to significant stress and misunderstanding. Let us explore how this phenomenon unfolds and its broader implications.

The science behind sex determination

The process of determining a baby’s sex is purely biological. Humans have 23 pairs of chromosomes, including one pair that dictates whether a baby will be a boy or a girl. Women contribute an X chromosome through their egg, while men contribute either an X or a Y chromosome through their sperm.

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If the sperm carries an X chromosome, the baby will be a girl (XX); if it carries a Y chromosome, the baby will be a boy (XY). This means that it is the father's sperm, not the mother's egg, that determines the baby’s sex.

Despite this clear science, many people still wrongly believe that a woman can influence the sex of her child through her actions or choices.

The pressure to produce a specific gender

In some cultures, the pressure to have a child of a specific gender can be overwhelming. Couples often seek advice from doctors on how to sway the odds, leading women to undergo multiple pregnancies in hopes of having the desired gender.

This relentless pursuit not only puts their health at risk but also underscores the immense pressure they face. Women may end up in clinics, desperately looking for tips or techniques, and some may even face health complications from repeated pregnancies.

The constant quest for a specific gender can take a severe emotional and psychological toll on women. When a woman’s efforts do not result in the 'preferred' gender, she may experience feelings of inadequacy and stress.

Societal stigma and ridicule only add to this burden. The emotional strain, coupled with the physical risks of multiple pregnancies, creates a heavy toll on women’s mental and physical well-being.

The pressure to have a child of a specific gender can also strain relationships and family dynamics. In some cases, men may seek other partners or have children outside of marriage to fulfil their desire for a particular gender.

This behaviour can lead to significant emotional distress for their current partners, causing feelings of betrayal and affecting family harmony. Such actions often deepen the emotional and mental strain on all involved.

Debunking gender selection myths

Many myths about influencing a baby’s sex, such as timing intercourse or following specific diets, circulate widely. However, scientific evidence does not support these claims.

While some suggest that certain factors might slightly influence the chances of conceiving a boy or a girl, research shows that no natural method can guarantee a baby’s gender. Understanding these myths can help dispel misconceptions and reduce the unfair blame placed on women.

Ethical considerations and social impact

Medical interventions like preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) combined with in vitro fertilization (IVF) can select the sex of an embryo before implantation. However, these methods are primarily used to prevent sex-linked genetic disorders rather than for gender preference.

The creation and discarding of embryos based on gender preferences, along with selective abortions, raises ethical concerns and reinforces harmful biases, contributing to gender inequality and impacting societal attitudes towards women and children.

Shifting the narrative

Changing these harmful dynamics requires education and compassion. By raising awareness about the true nature of sex determination and challenging outdated gender biases, we can reduce the pressure on women and its consequences.

Promoting gender equality and celebrating each child, regardless of sex, is essential for shifting perceptions and alleviating the undue stress placed on women.

Blaming women for not meeting gender expectations is not only scientifically unfounded but also deeply unjust. Understanding the biology of sex determination and addressing societal pressures can help create a more equitable and supportive environment.

It’s time to move beyond outdated beliefs and recognize every child as a unique and cherished individual. In the end, what truly matters is the health and well-being of both mother and child, regardless of whether the baby is a boy or a girl.

It’s time for societies to move beyond outdated beliefs and recognize that every child, regardless of sex, is a blessing. Embracing this perspective will not only ease the undue stress on women but also foster a more inclusive and compassionate society for all families.

Dr Joan Okemo is a Consultant Obstetrician Gynaecologist at Aga Khan University Hospital Nairobi